Today is friday Sept 11th. I am laying in bed and next to me is… should I call him this? well, my boyfriend. Yes. Boyfriend.

I haven’t posted here for a long time, but I feel that this required it. On september 7th, my 5 month old relationship took a big step. The person I am dating asked me, while confirming his love for me, that he wants to get serious in our commitment.

It was a very meaningful moment for both of us. He decided to let go of his fears, his insecurities. While I only listened and received the love and care that I usually think I don’t deserve or haven’t earned. This needs more explanation, I know. I will elaborate…

First, I will tell you what I think my boyfriend (I will introduce him now, his name is Leo) is feeling. He is a free soul, he likes to make plans as he goes, he takes special care of his time and does not enjoy when he finds himself doing stuff that he is not passionate about. This is one of the things I like about him the most, while it is also the thing that I am most fearful about. I know that his joy and positivity come directly from this part of him. He is always happy, full of energy and joy, making jokes, making people around him feel safe and warm, especially me. But also, this side of complete freedom that he enjoys so much, is the thing that I felt would lead the way for me to eventually lose him. And since I am insecure and am still figuring this out, I was kind of waiting for the end to come, I was internally preparing myself for it, while also enjoying these moments and letting myself be happy «temporarily» (in my mind).

Before telling the story of how he «proposed being boyfriend and girlfriend», I want to tell you more about our relationship. When we met, it all started casual, but with a beautiful feeling that this was something different. We enjoy our company so much and we have such a strong chemistry. We even say and text the same stuff at the same time. We joke a lot, we laugh a lot, we share a lot. Since the beginning, I felt myself in a safe space to share all of my fears, I knew that he would get me. And he did. He makes me feel so sure when I am doubtful of myself and my abilities. He gives me such joy when I am with him that I lose track of time. He is giving and loving with me and with his family and friends. He is passionate about what he does and likes to keep on learning more and more about everything. I want to be as free and happy and passionate as he is.

I think this is why I fell in love. I have seen so many qualities on him, that I ended up admiring him. I want to learn from him, love him, and grow with him.

Anyway, the true reason I want to write this post is because I feel so thankful for the person I found. I really thought that I could not find true love after my last relationship. I was so in love before but ended up full of doubt, sorrow, and pain. I had lost hope, and I was willing to compromise until I found someone good enough that made me feel ok. I never thought that I would be able to find THIS. Love that’s understanding and strong, passionate but calm at the same time, trustworthy… but the most important thing, it’s a love that we built together. We share so much and care so deeply about each other, that each step we have taken, we have chosen to and are completely sure about.

I could not be happier with my Leo.